PSF Jokes

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

Came across these on P.ie ;D


A PSF county councillor was delighted to hear that Gerry Adams was to pass through the area and intended to visit him in his house. He started thinking very hard about what he could do to impress Adams, as he hoped to be chosen as a candidate in the next general election. So he asked his children if they had something that they would like to tell the PSF President. His youngest daughter answered: “Well, I would like to say this to Gerry Adams: my cat has just had a litter of five kittens and they are all good Provisionals”. The councillor was delighted to have such a clever young daughter and some days afterwards, when Adams came, he hastened to introduce her to him. So the little girl came up and said aloud: “President Adams, my cat had a litter of five kittens and they are all good Republican Sinn Féiners”. Adams turned red and stormed out of the house. The councillor, devastated, asked the girl: “Why in the world did you say that? Didn’t you say last time that the kittens were all good Provisionals?” The little girl answered: “Yes, but by now they have opened their eyes”.

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

Martin:
What's the definition of an exchange of opinions with the British government?

Gerry:
Walking into Tony Blair's office with your opinion and walking out with his.

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting the leaders who signed the GFA?

A: People were confused about which side to spit on.

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

Gerry asks Marty, "What's the most common Provo expression"?
Marty scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

The Dalai Lama, Osama Bin Laden and Gerry Adams are saying their prayers at bed time.
The Dalai Lama asks God: "Will the protests against China bring about the Freedom of Tibet?"
"Yes," answers God, "in fifty years time."
The Dalai Lama is very sad that his people must wait such a long time.
Osama Bin Laden asks God: "Will the Jihad bring about the defeat of American Imperialism?"
"Yes," answers God, "in a hundred years time."
Bin Laden is very sad that his people must wait such a long time.
Gerry Adams asks God: "Will the Good Friday Agreement bring about a United Ireland?"
"Yes," answers God, "but not in my lifetime."

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

A man went in for a brain transplant operation in Belfast and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon: This was the brain of Martin McGuinness and it costs £100,000, and this was the brain of the tea lady in Stormont Castle and it cost £1,000.

"Does that mean that Martin's brain is much better than the tea lady's?" exclaimed the puzzled patient.

"Well no" replied the surgeon, "the tea lady's is used."

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

A bus load of Stormont MLAs were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few hours later, the local Crown Constables came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

[Stallit 2 de Halfo]

Gerry and Martin are at the Castle restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.

"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Gerry says.

The waiter nods and asks, "And the vegetable?"

"Oh," replies Gerry, "He'll have the fish."

[Papa C.]

Ha, some classics there ;D